Are you "JUST" a mom?? This is a question I get asked far to often. It really bothers me, 'Just' a mom like its some meaningless task. Am I just raising human beings to be a contributing part of our society? Is that what you are asking me? I honestly don't even know what people mean when they ask me this. Are they asking if I am a working mother or if I stay home, if I have some larger task at home to fill my idle time while I twiddle my fingers, if I am also the dad, I really don't know. But I wish people would stop asking me this. I wish they would stop asking all women with children. I'm not really sure when being a mother was no longer enough or why anyone cares what else I am doing besides raising my children.
First I want to clarify to everyone, its not that I mind being asked if I get to stay home with my kids. I love that I am able to this, its that the word JUST is rude and
condescending. If you want to know if a woman also works as well as mothers you
might want to re-phrase it. That is if you don't want a smart ass like me to put you in
your place. Although I really have no idea why anyone cares, and I have never heard
anyone ask my husband the same question. I think he would be confused if someone
came up to him and asked if he was just a dad. Or would they ask him if he was
just a worker?
Second there is no such thing as JUST being a mom.
Its not a simple task. Its not like an "oh hey I'm just gonna take the trash out
be right back" or I am "just" going to watch a few episodes of teen mom while I eat my weight in cookie dough" kinda deal. Its an all day and night seven days a week deal, no
bathroom breaks no lunch breaks, no sick days. I wake up every morning to at
least one crying kid, a wrangle a ten month old to get the crap off his butt
while trying to get my two year old to stop dumping *every* toy he owns on the
ground. The fun doesn't stop there all day long I am teaching them, getting
food thrown at me, spit up on, asked one million questions, chasing them around,
trying to find a pair of pants that does not smell like pee, looking for a sock,
feeding someone, holding the other one, kissing boo-boo's, telling jokes,
singing songs, listening to that damn little people CD that I loathe but makes
my two year old happy on repeat for the one millionth time, trying to get kids
out of the house into the car for three hours, going to appointments, going to
the library or play dates, and trying my hardest to never get mad or make them
feel un-loved. Moms are so under rated. We are amazing people who can multi task
like no ones business. We can hear a child getting into a drawer they are not
allowed to three rooms away with the doors shut. We can make up the most amazing
bed time stories, and one cuddle from us will make a child's bad dreams go away.
We can play pretend and see things no one else can, I can put on a hat and
suddenly be transformed into Jessie and my two year old is woody for three
hours. All while looking fabulous.
But if your question is do I get to stay home with my kids? The answer is yes
I do. I stay home with them all day,every day. But I want to clarify, just because I do not work out
side the home or bring in any money that does not make me less valuable to
our marriage or my family. My husband and I chose this life. He worked very
hard all his life to get the job he has and to provide a way for me to stay home
and raise our babies. I gave up my career and monetary things so that I could be
home with my kids. We have both given up a lot for me to stay home, but it has
all been worth it for us.
So am I just a mom? No, I am a damn good mom who can probably do more in one hour than most people can do in one day. I choose to stay home with my kids because there will be time to make money later but my kids will never be little again. So please don't ask me or anyone else if they are JUST a mom. Being a mom is a great thing and deserves a lot more respect than it is given these days. And just because I don't work doesn't mean I am not valuable to my family.
To be totally clear I think there is nothing wrong with working and being a mom too. Its all about what is right for your family.
Does anyone else hate getting asked if they are JUST a mom?