So recently one of my friends who is about to be a mom for the first time asked me for my "best advice". I am not sure if I was just in a bad mood due to the old lady who told me I was being "very mean" to Dexter for threatening to let his balloon go if he did not get in his seat, I was not going to let it go it just came out of my mouth. It did work though and he sat in his seat. Or what but when she asked me that all I could think of was to tell her to mentally and emotionally prepare her for the amount of judging she was about to get for the next 18 years of her life. Its sad but true, once you have a kid everyone decides they need to weigh in on how you are doing. It actually may start even before you have your child when everyone and their mom asks you how you are bringing that little sucker into the world. Because trust me I have heard it all and man are moms opinionated on how to get a baby out. I am just glad they are not as opinionated on how to get the baby in there ;OP. And more often then not it is not anything you want to hear. No matter what your decisions are there will always be that mom that says "You're doing it wrong, let me tell you how I do it". Which obviously is the right way.
It begins almost immediately You chose to breastfeed, great! Now prepare yourself to be called a hippie, a nudist, have other mother tell you that you think you are better then them. Your are breastfeeding your child to long if you go beyond one year, because we all know breast milk has an expatriation date of one year past your child's first day. You chose to nurse in public? Well that is wrong to, you are subjecting the rest of us to your fowl behavior!! You are nothing more than a man who runs out in front of cars and flashes them and then runs away. You nurse behind close doors? You my friend are a prude! Let the girls out! Let them hang free! Be proud of nursing that baby! I once invited a group of moms to my house from a mommy group that I had been a part of for a little while, my son who was 8 months at the time was hungry so I went in his room sat down in our rocker and nursed him. I came out to every single mom there nursing her child and giving me the stink eye, as if to say "Who are you to go nurse your son in private" I wanted to kick them all out of my house at that moment not because they were nursing their babies in my living room but because who were they to judge me in my own home for how I feed MY child? I never did go back to that group.
So you decided you will pump at home and feed your child a bottle while out. Well that is just wrong on all accounts, the breastfeeding moms will tell you how much better nursing is, because they will think you are formula feeding because you are using a bottle. And once the formula moms realize it is breast milk in that bottle, honey you are done for.
So you decide to formula feed? Great! Now be prepared to hear that you are not giving your child what was meant for him/her. Get told you are not a good mom. It does not matter how hard you did or did not try, you are just a bad mom for giving your child that "crap". I mean seriously some people act as if you are giving your child rat poison, its just formula, it was actually meant for babies. I have seen other moms make formula feeding moms cry because they are so harsh on them. The lady who orchestrated the nurse-in in my living room use to tell everyone in our new moms group that said they were formula feeding that she could help them re-lactate or she knew where they could get breast milk from. They kicked her out of that group.
Have a boy and trying to decided whether to Circ or not? Well let me help. You are wrong. If you do circ be prepared to hear about how you "mutilated" your son, you have solely ruined his wiener and his sex life. Don't circ? Well you have made it so your son will be taunted for the rest of his life, AND it will get infected and fall off.
Then there is the whole hot issue of vaccinating, either you do and they die or you don't and they die. Every mom will let you know what she did and why it was right and how you need to do it too.
These days there are so many decisions you can make for your child, did you know you can even diaper them wrong?! Yes it is in fact true, you can diaper a baby wrong. I bet you were like me and just thinking you were doing it right if it did not get on you. Oh no no no, there is much more to it these days. There is a whole war going on out there in the diapering world. You have two choice cloth or disposables, and you my friend need to pick wisely! Shall you choose to use cloth diapers people will regard you as looney. You will be labeled as that insane mom who spends ALL her time doing laundry, stalking diapers online, and likes to play with poop. So if you decide not to cloth diaper moms will tell you how lazy you are. You would rather RUIN our planet than take the time to wash a diaper. You are a horrid person putting all those chemicals on your child! And you child's butt is simply a disgrace to all man kind because it is not fluffy and boasting with wondrous printed glory.
I could go on here for a long time, tell you all the things that you are bound to hear. How whatever you do to someone will be the wrong choice, every little decision, from your babies first food to when they take their first step. Sending them to public school or homeschooling. And I am sure there are even more wrong choices that I have not been blessed enough to yet here. But the one thing I can tell you, and what I told my friend was, Always remember you are a good mom. No matter what choice you make as long as it is not truly harmful to your child that it is the right choice for you. No two moms are the same, and no to families are the same. So do your best and don't listen to other people who just want to bring you down. Hold your head high on all the decisions you make and don't ever stop believing in yourself as a woman and as a mother.